Quotes from the road: one decade on a single journey

by Dave from The Longest Way Home ~ January 5th, 2015. Published in: Travel blog » Travel Journals.

Celebrating the decade of a single journey

Indeed, that little counter in the top right hand corner that adorns every page of this website has ticked over to a new decade. It reveals that this journey has been ongoing for over 10 years.

I could have done many things today. Cracked a bottle of champagne. Released a new web design. Published a book. Written about what it’s like to travel a single journey for so long … the list goes on.

However, when I look back today I think of those I’ve met and their words of “wisdom” or “not” as the case may be.

Today I’d like to share with you a list of quotes, conversations and situations that I’ve come across over the past ten years.

Some are personal that will make little sense. Some might seem humorous, other less so. There are a few politically incorrect conversations, by today’s standards, which is not surprising considering how much the world has changed in the past 10 years.

Either which way perhaps one quote will resonate with you as it did and still does with me.

Otherwise, there are still some interesting photos to peruse from my past 10 years.

In no particular order:

Pakistan: “Undercover policeman” (2007)

Colorful Donkey in Peshawar Pakistan

Colorful Donkey in Peshawar Pakistan

Walking in Peshawar city during emergency rule. A man in a white shalwar kameez covering a crisp suit approaches me from the side.

Him: “You like Pakistan?”

Me: “Yes”.

Him: “You going to stay long?”

Me: “I don’t know really.”

Him: “What are you going to see here?”

Me: “I see your shiny shoes. Are you the Pakistani undercover police I was told about?”

The man immediately wanders off to the right.


Morocco: “Moroccan Viagra” (2005)

Aït-Benhaddou in Morocco

Aït-Benhaddou in Morocco

Marrakech in 2005 was not quite the tourist hub it is today. The open night market in winter was filled more with Moroccan men in heavy shawls drinking steaming mint tea than tourists in designer jackets and selfie sticks.

I’d just finished a deliciously large meal of kebabs and apricots with a girl I was traveling with at the time when we decided to seek out one more sweet treat.

Me: “Do you have any desert?”

Moroccan man: “Eat this ….”

Me. “Smells like cinnamon. Tastes like … ”

Girl: “What’s wrong?”

Me: “It’s burning my throat!”

Girl: “Really, what did you buy?”

Me: “Cinnamon cake.”

Local Moroccan man standing beside us: “That’s not cake. That’s Moroccan Viagra!

Both Moroccan men laugh as the vendor winks: “You have good time with lady friend tonight.”

2 hours later and it’s the first of many hours of me disposed on a toilet due to Moroccan “Viagra poisoning”. Not quite the effect I wanted nor the dessert I wanted either!


Auschwitz/Birkenau, Poland: “One sentence” 2007

Auschwitz-Birkenau, Poland

Auschwitz-Birkenau, Poland

Tour guide: “My parents were killed in Auschwitz, now I work here.”

Don’t know if it’s a sympathy tip or true. Either way. It works.


Malaysia: “Non-Politically correct laughs are the best” (2010)

KL Sentral in Kuala Lumpur

KL Sentral railway station in Kuala Lumpur

I was sitting on a stool with a French friend having dinner at a roadside cafe in front of a market.

There’s an idiot teenager riding up and down the wet street on a motorbike making a lot of noise and disturbing locals. The tourists nearby were not paying much attention.

Boy skids on the wet street flips over the bike and smashes into an old ladies clothes stall. Old lady swats the groaning boy with a handbag as he’s still on the ground groaning.

We nearly fall off our stools laughing. Nearby tourists turn around in horror at the cruel people behind them (us). To add icing to the cake of cruel laughter a “Monk” approaches us for money. We tell him to go ask the tourists for money instead.

Tourists in front get even more outraged.

(for anyone wondering the “monks” there are “always” asking for something. Aka, probably not monks).


Philippines / Malaysia: “Such a dangerous place” (2010)

Swordfish statue sunset Kota Kinabalu

Swordfish statue sunset Kota Kinabalu

Traveling from the Philippines to Malaysia. You’d think these two neighbouring countries would have more in common. They don’t.

A Filipino to me in The Philippines: “You’re going to Sabah Malaysia? Very dangerous place. Malaysians will kidnap, rob and shoot you there.”

A Malaysian in Sabah, Malaysia: “You came from The Philippines?! You’re so lucky. That’s a very dangerous place. They kidnap, rob and shoot people there.”


Romania: “Jesus is here too” 2007

Sighisoara Romania

Sighisoara Romania

I was in Sighisoara Romania in a lovely little guest house which was eerily empty. Next door there was another guest house which was full. I wondered why as the old lady running my one took me down into her basement.

Lady: “Stand over here. No, not there, here. Do you see it?”

Me: Slightly confused and half expecting an axe wielding manic to appear. “No.”

Lady: “Look harder. Do you see it?”

Me: “No.” *She is being nice, but this is weird.

Lady: “Look on the floor!”

Me: “I’m trying!” *Okay, now I’m feeling stupid. Maybe I should lie.

Lady: “Do you see his face?”

Me: “Who?” *She’s flipped.

This went on a while until finally …

Lady: “Jesus!”

Me: Still not seeing anything but a concreted floor. “Oh yes, there it is.”

Lady: “There’s more over here.”

On the floor were water stains. One of which could possibly have resembled a bearded face. I was then shown many more around the room. And a piece of stale biscuit with a face on it.

In fairness, the lady was lovely. I’d stay there again. It was just … different.


Tibet/China: “A North American lady without a gun” 2008

Riots in Tibet

Riots in Tibet

We were in the middle of the March 2008 Tibetan uprising. Buildings were burning all round us, cars blowing up and the Chinese Army were just starting to arrive en-masse.

I was out trying to find a French guy who’d disappeared during all this when I spotted the ex-police woman from the USA and her teenage son who stayed at our hotel sheltering behind a counter in a ransacked shop.

Me: “What are you doing in here?”

Woman: “If I had a gun I’d shoot them….”

Me: “Who?”

Woman: “Any of them!”

Me: “Okay, well that’s probably not a great idea considering the tanks coming in over there. Have you seen the French guy by the way?”

Woman: “No, he’s probably dead. I don’t care who’s out there I’d shoot any of them.”

Me: “Well, you don’t have a gun. And I that’s definitely a good thing. Get some sense and get back to the hotel it’s just around the corner.”

In the end the woman came to her senses and took her rather panic stricken son back to the hotel. The French guy was later found. He’d been given shelter by a local Tibetan family.


Thailand: “The floods” 2011

Wat Pho in Bangkok

Wat Pho in Bangkok

Traveling from Malaysia to Thailand overland during flash floods. The train was stopped due to flooding at 4am so I took a bus in the hope of getting out of the flood plains. The road had disappeared under water and all around us was nothing but the same brown water. What did the bus driver do? He sped up of course.

Tourist: “Are we in the field?”

Other tourist: “No, it’s the road.”

Tourist: Why is the car beside us trying to overtaking us?”

Me: “Welcome to Thailand.”

The SUV overtook us too far and really did end up in a field of water. It slowed to a halt and the family was left stranded as our bus started overtaking more cars to escape the rising flood waters.


Tibet/China: “Memory cards aren’t built for your rectum” 2008

Road to Everest or North Base Camp from Tibet

Road to Everest or North Base Camp from Tibet

Again during the Tibetan riots. We’d taken a lot of photos and knew the Chinese military were rounding people up to confiscate cameras. I’d hidden my photos well. But still we were worried.

Italian: “I put it up my ass.”

Me: “Really? What type of memory card you got?”

Italian: “SD.”

Me: “I’ve Compact Flash, wouldn’t fit. Not going to try either.”


Iran: “border talk” 2007

Zoroastrian Fire Temple in Iran

Zoroastrian Fire Temple in Iran

I’d just crossed the border from Turkey to Iran alone. The border only had taxi transport and my destination was quite far. It called for a shared taxi which was still quite expensive. I had a choice to take a short shared taxi to a nearby town or wait it out for another shared taxi to the city I wanted to go. I chose the latter.

It didn’t take long until I met three Syrian men also wanting a ride to Tabriz. We chose to go together as we were ready. All we needed was one more passenger so we could go.

We ate lunch together, joked and laughed and waited. And waited. And waited. The Syrians bargained hard with the taxi man who wouldn’t budge. So we waited even longer.

By now it was getting close to the time I had to leave as I didn’t want a night journey. I offered to pay for the extra seat. But the Syrians wanted to bargain more. A new wave of people crossed the border and no one went with the Syrians who insisted on continuously bargaining. I sat back down thinking what a mistake it had been to agree a taxi with them. As I did I noticed one Syrian take his luggage out of our taxi and shuffle off to another.

Then the next Syrian did the same. As I walked over the last Syrian grabbed his bag and ran off to his friends who had met two other Syrian’s before driving off and leaving me.

I looked at the taxi man we’d all been waiting with for nearly 5 hours: “Did that really happen?”

Taxi man: “Arab Bastards!”

The taxi man got me another taxi to take me to another town where I got a bus to the city. Not after being chased out of a public toilet by a very strange and wild toilet cleaning man. Arrived into Tabriz on a late Friday night where nearly every hotel was full. Dinner ended up being some bread and yogurt.

I went to sleep that night pondering about the taxi man’s statement. Yep, they were bastards. Race didn’t matter. Actions did. But still, memory lasts forever.


Varanasi, India: “The smell of burning bodies at sundown” 2007

Ghats on the Ganges in Varanasi, India

Ghats on the Ganges in Varanasi, India

Standing on the rooftop of my guesthouse a new tourist arrives fresh-faced and clean as we look over the Ganges.

Tourist: “Some sight eh?”

Me: “Yea, some smell too.”

Tourist: “Really? What is it?”

Me: “That would be the dead bodies burning over there.”

Tourist: Goes yellow, “Oh no really?”

Me: “Yea, smells like Argentine beef doesn’t it?”

Big waft of dark smoke blows in. Tourist goes green. Goes back to room.


Ghana: “Get over it already” 2006

Gold Coast Ghana

Gold Coast Ghana

We were in a remote (ish) place which necessitated a taxi ride to a bus stop. Unfortunately the taxi man seemed to think we should pay double the rate. Upon refusing he lost the plot and started shouting at us.

Taxi man: “You white men cheat us for centuries make us slaves now we cheat you!”

Me: “No. Get your facts right. The white man came to Ghana where you were already enslaving each other. We did it better than you. Made more money than you. Became more sustainable than you. And ended slavery for you. I’ll get a better taxi man than you too.”


Nepal: “Hello” 2014

Streets of Kathmandu

Streets of Kathmandu

Standing on a rooftop in Pokhara my phone rings.

Me: “Hello”

Nepalese Friend: “Namaste!”

Me: “Namaste.”

Nepalese Friend: “How are you?”

Me: “Fine, how are you?”

Nepalese Friend: “Good thank you.”


Me: “Everything okay?”

Nepalese Friend: “Just fine.”


Me: “Em, why did you call?”

Nepalese Friend: “Just called to see how you are?”

Me: “Really?”

Nepalese Friend: “Yes. You’re fine. So, bye.”

Strange as it may seem to many. But when you are constantly moving country getting a phone call like that is is A) very unusual B) very nice.


Afghanistan/Pakistan border: “It’s safe here” 2007

Khyber Pass Border

Khyber Pass Border


Having just traveled up the Khyber Pass in Pakistan to the border of Afghanistan I stood with the army overlooking the valley below whilst surrounded by arduous mountains.

Army officer: “Yes. we had an incident two days ago. Turkish man kidnapped. Taken into the mountains.”

Me: “Does it happen a lot?”

Officer: “About every week.”

Me: “Always like this?”

Officer: “It’s not so bad. Bad was three years ago. A Swiss man was cut up into pieces and sent to different parts of the market in Peshawar.”

Me: “Why?”

Officer: “Selling arms … That’s not his job.”


Spain/Morocco: “We lost him … ” 2005

Dye pits in Fez, Morocco

Dye pits in Fez, Morocco

I was traveling with some friends one of whom originally didn’t want to come to Morocco. That was about to change on the ferry back to Spain.

Friend: “So do they have sniffer dogs at the port?”

Me: “I presume so, yes.”

Friend: “F&#K.”

Me: “I’m guessing you will take the ferry back then.”

Friend: “I love Morocco, I’m never leaving man.”

And that was the last we saw of him.


Philippines “The foreigner” 2009

Fisherman in The Philippines

Fisherman in The Philippines

One of the more annoying traits of the Philippines is the presumption that foreigners have more money than anyone else. In the big cities this is a constant annoyance. The government officials in big cars along with local people matter not. You as a tourist are grade A prime $.

Kids on the city street: “Give me money …”

Large SUV left running outside Starbucks with air-con running to keep it nice and cold for 20 minutes while Filipino owner buys coffee.

Lady on street: “Give me money …”

More large Filipino’s in designer gear queuing for Starbucks.

Child on street: “Give me money …”

Me: “Stop! You see those fat Filipinos coming out of that shop. They have more money than me. Go ask them.”


Nigeria: “Help! Lions!”

Lions at night peeking out of the bush

Lions at night peeking out of the bush

There are no safaris in Nigeria. You simply hire a car and head out into the bush to find what the Nigerians have not yet eaten or hunted to extinction. In this case we drove. We also broke down in the middle of the bush in the middle of the night.

Me: “Do you hear that?”

Sound of rustling.

Friend: “Yes.”

Me: “What is it?”

Friend: “Lions?”

Everyone: “Run into the car!”

Sure enough a few seconds later some very skinny (aka hungry) lions crossed behind us. We still had to get out of the car and repair it.

All the while hungry eyes twinkled at us from the bush.


Poland: “Ukraine bus services suck” 2007

Wawel Castle, Krakow, Poland

Wawel Castle, Krakow, Poland

Bus station receptionist: “The driver says he was here last night”

Me: “No he wasn’t I was here all night.”

Receptionist: “He says he was.”

I call my polish friend who arrives a little later. He talks with the receptionist.

Polish friend: “Yea you get your money back since they can’t cheat you now. I probably wouldn’t get the same bus tonight. It’ll be the same driver and he won’t be happy.”

Me: “Great, I’ll skip the Ukraine then and go to Hungary on the train.”


Barcelona Spain: “nightlife starts late” 2005

Barcelona city skyline

Barcelona city skyline

Me: “Do not go out drinking early in Barcelona.”

Friend visiting: “There’s a football match.”

Me: “Don’t do it. Don’t start until eleven like everyone else.”

Friend: “Yea, ok.”

Next day friend on phone: “Dave, I passed out and we got mugged.”


Malaysian shamans: “You will meet someone soon who will change your life” 2012

Orangutan in Sabah, Malaysia

Orangutan in Sabah, Malaysia

Shaman one: “You will meet someone who will change your destiny”

Me: “When?”

Shaman two: “You are already on that path.”

Me: “Within the year?”

Shaman one: “Within this year you will meet your destiny.”

Me: “Didn’t you say that to me 2 years ago as well?”

Shaman looks up.

Me: “You remember me don’t you?”

Both Shamans laugh.

Me: “I’m going to bed now.”


Pakistan “The Good Colonel” 2007

Badshahi Mosque, Lahore, Pakistan

Badshahi Mosque, Lahore, Pakistan

Taking a train from Quetta to Peshawar via Rawalpindi during Emergency rule. Benazir Bhutto was just arriving. I share a carriage with a Colonel from the Army. We spent many hours in discussion about life. The train pulls up near the Indus river during a discussion about how to be happy in life.

Colonel: “I think a simple life is better.”

Me: “The simple life can be a boring one.”

Colonel: “Not if you don’t know what’s out there.”

Me: “Don’t we all want to know?”

Colonel: “Maybe, but I think the wiser man is the man who does not want to know. Let me show you a man like that.”

We leave the train and the stop and visit a man selling soup and samosas. He is smiling at everyone.

Colonel: “This man, he is a simple man. He’s worked here in this spot since he was a child. He’s doesn’t read or listen to the news. And, he’s happy.”

We buy some soup and samosas. The man greets me with a huge smile. His young son helps him. He recognises the colonel and is happy he has a friend today.

Colonel: “You see, with all this emergency rule and trouble waiting in Rawalpindi. This man knows nothing about it and he is happy. A simple man. A simple life. A better life.”

Me: At the time I understood what the colonel meant. Though I did not fully agree. Today I am much more inclined to say that that simple man is one of the happiest men in today’s world. Which for all intents and purposes makes him a much smarter man than me.


Making a trail in Nepal

Only a few forge new paths …

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49 Great responses to Quotes from the road: one decade on a single journey

  1. Jemma says:

    What a journey. You must have enough tales to fill several books!

  2. Alex says:

    So many memories of conversations and so many people met along the way. There’s nothing or no one like this online. Just suburb.

  3. Sander says:

    No quotes from Portugal? :) Really good read. Congratulations & keep up the good work.

  4. Vincent says:

    That’s quite a journey. It takes a special force to do something like this.

  5. Malcom says:

    Laughed at some of these, thought about others. Times change indeed. Great to follow along this 10 year journey like no other!

  6. Mel says:

    Inspiring words. I think my favorite travel quote came from my brother who just told me to “get out there and see the world before it changes”.

  7. Mark says:

    Well done. I enjoyed reading these conversations. The Tibet situations was hair raising. I reminder about gun control even outside of our country and hands.

  8. Anna's World says:

    Congratulations on 10 years Dave! There’s nothing like your journey out there. It’s been an incredible insight and a great read over the years. You’ve developed a great website and give back so much to everyone. I’m hoping the best for you and wish you the best as your journey continues and I keep reading!

  9. Surya says:

    Good to see Nepal made the list!

  10. Ben says:

    Fun read that inspired me to make better plans for travel in 2015 – and to talk with more people!

  11. Carlos says:

    Congrats man. Enjoyed reading your stories through the years!

  12. Mandy says:

    Congratulations on your 10 year travel anniversary, Dave! I remember wishing the same but was on the 7th anniversary when you were on EBC adventure. Thanks for sharing the journey with us generously, keeping your (home) site refreshed with badass travel stories and fascinating photography. Last but not least a personal thank you note for being part of my unforgettable Nepal trips with your great info, hints and tips & the trying-a-bit-too-hard matchmaking, not forgetting meeting some nice people along the way due to you :) Toast to The Longest Way Home!!

  13. Dan says:

    I enjoyed your Moroccan story. Had me laughing all day. I told it to a friend and now our office is full of the “story of Moroccan dessert” it’s what travel stories are made for! Thank you!

  14. Pab says:

    It’s posts like this that I enjoy reading here. I’d love to travel with you someday. I think out humor is the same!

  15. Tammy says:

    Thanks for the great quotes. Enjoyed reading through them.

  16. Art says:

    Do not answer Nepal! What’s been the best country so far to visit in terms of things to do?

  17. Eric says:

    So what’s next? I notice a little Shop appearing here? You stepping into the big time commercial side of things Dave lol ;)

  18. Inga says:

    The Syrian story is the one not politically correct? Maybe the Moroccan one? Ha, times change alright. Keep going the way you are. This PC thing has another few years in it then it will all backfire!

    • I hope so. One can’t say much these days without offending someone somewhere. Getting all silent won’t help. PC people need to get off the band wagon as no two parts of the world are the same and everyone will say something to someone offending them without realising or even standing a chance.

  19. Steve M says:

    I could swear I’m in there somewhere! :) Maybe not. Good stuff!

  20. Marie says:

    Tell it like it is Dave :) Ha ha, good laughs online and off!

  21. James says:

    Great read. Reminds me of the time I spent in Vietnam when a tourist came up to me and said “Do you want to buy my paintings” I told him know. Then a Vietnamese vendor came up to me and offered his paintings at a cheaper rate.

  22. Kate says:

    I zoomed in on the lion photos thinking it was just the reflection from a torch. Ahhhhh I saw two lions staring back!! So scary!!

  23. Liv says:

    Thank you for sharing all the beautiful fotos, the quotes and the long travel towards home. 10 years is quite some time to be on the road. I hope you are close to find what you are looking for!

  24. Abhi says:

    Wow! It was dumbfounded after this post. You have been to world’s most amazing places. You have experienced that no one the world would have. Please keep blog posts like these coming. Through your blog we could also virtually visit these places if not visit them in real.

  25. Amazing, hilarious, poignant. Your decade of travel is such an inspiration.

  26. Flip says:

    What an adventure Dave! You are truly an inspiration for those who wants to live this kind of lifestyle. :-) May you have more adventures in the years to come. Congratulations on your 10th year :-)